How parents can help children turn off the tech and build social skills
Hopping on your phone or other devices happens easily for many.
It can, likewise, become easy to get distracted, scrolling through apps and social media.
And while our devices provide a great way to find resources and connect with many, too much dependence on them could prevent children from learning important interpersonal skills.
How screens affect child development
“Screens are detrimental to development,” said Dr. Melissa Hord, a clinical psychologist at Riley Children’s Health. “Children’s brains develop much more complex abilities by interacting with the real three-dimensional world. For example, playing with a bin of random Legos allows for a child to improve their skills for planning, learning, engineering, flexible thinking and creativity.”
Deanna Ramirez, a licensed social worker/mental health therapist at New Leaf Resources, explained that interpersonal skills are the foundation of human connection. New Leaf Resources has locations in Lansing, Crown Point and Wheatfield.
“They help children communicate their thoughts and feelings, understand others, develop empathy, navigate social situations and build meaningful relationships,” Ramirez said. “These skills allow children to recognize social cues, express emotions appropriately and develop the confidence needed to engage with the world around them.”
Technology is used in a variety of ways daily. Children have access to devices at school for educational purposes. Quite often, devices are also used in the home for entertainment. This raises concerns about the way screens affect development.
“Research suggests that excessive screen use may contribute to what experts call ‘displacement effects,’ meaning time spent on screens can replace activities that are important for healthy development, such as face-to-face interactions, physical activity, sleep, imaginative play and family engagement,” Ramirez said.
Building interpersonal skills early on
There are a variety of ways parents can help their children learn interpersonal skills, and it’s never too early to begin that process.
“It’s very important to talk to babies even before they have started using verbal communication,” Hord said. “Babies learn both verbal and nonverbal communication even before they are able to start using those skills themselves.”
As children get older, there are a variety of ways parents can promote personal interactions.
“Simple practices such as having device-free family dinners, engaging in outdoor activities, playing games together, reading as a family and participating in conversations without distractions can strengthen relationships and encourage communication,” Ramirez said. “Equally important, parents should model the behaviors they hope to see. Children learn by example, and when adults put away their own devices during family time, they demonstrate that these expectations apply to everyone.”
Setting limits and encouraging alternatives
Schools often provide students with iPads, laptops and other devices, and though that screentime promotes education, it’s necessary for parents to create limits on device use.
“Children will not set limits on their own, so we really need to help them with that by being firm with those limits and being good role models,” Hord said. “It’s helpful to encourage other activities. Children need to be moving their bodies more to stay healthy.”
Hord suggests family bike rides, heading to the park or hiking together.
“Getting out and exploring the world will reduce reliance on devices and by interacting more with the world, children will have more opportunities to improve their interpersonal skills,” Hord said.
AAP recommendations for screentime
The American Academy of Pediatrics has recommendations around screentime.
Screentime is discouraged for children younger than 18 months outside of the use of video chatting with family.
Ramirez said parents of children 18 months to 2 years should offer only high-quality programming that they watch with their child.
Screentime should be limited to high-quality content for one hour a day for children ages 2 to 5.
There is no longer an AAP recommended hourly limit for school-age children and adolescents, Ramirez said.
“Instead, families are encouraged to create individualized media plans that promote a healthy balance between screen use, sleep, physical activity, academics, family relationships and in-person social interaction,” she said.
Hord said the AAP recommendations can be tricky to understand, and she encourages parents to view the following websites for a more detailed understanding: health.choc.org/updated-aap-recommendations-for-screen-time and www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/helping-kids-thrive-in-a-digital-world-AAP-policy-explained.aspx.
Real-world interaction remains essential
Ramirez said face-to-face relationships are vital for everyone, especially children.
“While technology can offer valuable opportunities for learning and connection, it should complement, not replace, the real-world interactions that help children develop strong interpersonal skills,” she said. “By prioritizing conversation, shared experiences and healthy boundaries around technology, families can help children build the social and emotional skills they will carry throughout their lives.”
