The death of a friend, family member or even a beloved pet is a heart-shattering experience, and itโs hard to know how to process the myriad emotions that arise during the grieving process. Finding healthy ways to express your feelings is a good place to start. Here are some suggestions on how you can start to transform the pain of grief into healing.
How to turn grief and loss into healing
Give it time
Thereโs no deadline when it comes to grieving, and just when you think youโre โover it,โ something comes up that sends you right back to square one. Itโs natural for emotions to run high in the days following a death and throughout the funeral service, and they donโt just switch off once all the activity winds down. Grief is a nonlinear process that takes time. Be patient. When feelings do emerge, allow yourself to accept and acknowledge them.
Be gentle with yourself
Honor your loved one
Accepting the idea that your loved one is really gone can feel impossible to wrap your mind around. Look for thoughtful ways to keep their memory alive. Display a few favorite photos or cherished items in your home and share your remembrances with others who loved them. Make a donation to a charity in their name. Or coordinate a blood drive, a fundraising event or a party in their honor. Buy a bouquet of their favorite flowers on a random day when youโre missing them. Even something as small as spending an hour doing something they loved can help them feel not so far away.
Ask for support
Grief can quickly become overwhelming, and itโs OK to ask others to shoulder some of the load. Well-meaning family and friends will often ask if thereโs anything they can do. Draft a short list of ideas to have ready โ bringing over a meal, feeding pets, watering plants, grocery shopping, running errands, babysitting or picking up kids from school are all easy ways for people to pitch in and help. Keep a calendar to track whoโs doing what and when.
Get professional help if you need it
When grief starts to feel like it will never end and makes it difficult to even function, it may be time to seek the professional support of a trusted doctor, counselor or therapist. Participating in a grief support group through a hospital, church or organization in your community can also provide a valuable outlet for comfort and camaraderie.
